About My Happy Bowl – 2 – Happy Ending!

*This is my update from the 1st part, please click here to read.

I tend to think that since I am jobless I can do whatever I want and be lazy all day wearing PJs. Partly is correct, but not entirely true though hehehe. The PJs part is true. After I drop off T at the daycare (wearing PJs) I can do the heck I want in my PJ. ALL DAY LONG!!!

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A lot of articles I read, there all corroborate that becoming a mother has its down side, i.e. being isolated. I totally can relate to that. First year was gruesome…I only could talk about diapers and shite. Like what to do when a poo is white, or red or green and when I must pump. Numbing. But then, a year has passed, I want to get my groove back. I want to be able to use my brain again! I feel that I must change something in my life. I have this urge to get out of my cocoon, and do something with my life.

Since September last year I have been attending a professional massage school. I love massage, and have done some workshops in the past. I’d saved up money to be able to get a certification as a pro massage therapist and wished I could open my own practice in the Netherlands in the future. Time has always been the only main problem, but now since I am jobless I have times to do it.  It is a one year program, a part-time study so it is easy to combine with family commitments. The massage school helps me a lot. It may not be a quantum physics study..so it is not that complicated. I learn about anatomy, physiology, reanimation, meridian system and classic massage techniques in the classroom. But still, it helps me in terms of using my half dead brain. It forces me to de-frost that part of the brain that I think never exist. In fact, I just did my theory exams over the weekend. I am not sure I will pass all of them though. I am OK if I had to re-do them, no biggy. My main struggle is definitely the language (the study, thus inclusive the theories are taught in Dutch). Especially for Anatomy I have difficulties in grasping all the medical terms that are written both in Dutch and Latin. I pass my Reanimation test today, and I am glad at least I have one certificate in the pocket LOL!

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My Interview Stories

Jobs, how can we live without it? 🙂

Whenever I meet fellow Indonesians here we use to talk about our job quest. Either they are now jobless and searching for one , or, they want to quit and now want to search for a new one. I hate it when people say, you are so lucky to have a nice job at a nice company blablabla. Believe me, in my case, it was not like a job went onto my lap out of nowhere. I really did my best to get one. I wrote over 50 applications in 3 month time. And I went to many job interviews.

I came to live in the Netherlands in 2007, although I had stayed a year before to becoming Au Pair. I went back home briefly after. I have had many job interviews since then. Like, MANY! Of course I felt really uneasy and did not  feel confident because I didn’t speak Dutch, but soon I understood a little bit of Dutch it was unstoppable. My first ones were when I was a student at the VU, I needed a part-time job. Sometimes two jobs to make ends meet. I gained it through a student job agent, sometimes the jobs were really odd, like the time I had to work at a chocolate factory. Or the time I worked at the zoo behind the till machine. Sometimes I worked at a cafeteria prepping food, or at De Bijenkorf as sales assistant. Outside the jobs I got from the agency, I also worked as a babysitter occasionally and I liked it because I earned good money and it was an easy job. I pretty much accepted all offers from the job agency except waiting tables, I sucked at it. From all those odd jobs the only one that I hated was when I worked at the zoo. Had a male supervisor who was a control freak and he corrected me all the time. After I passed my exams I was finally brave enough to apply for office jobs.

That when the nightmare began… Continue reading

About My Happy Bowl – 1

There were crucial moments this year where I thought, “Screw with this, I want to have something else”. I had an OK job for the past 5,5 years and even it was not my dream job or my passion it was a nice job and I had nice colleagues or thought that they were. When I was back from my maternity leave, I’d really tried my best to adapt again but somehow it did not work out well. Too many changes and lack of support, and after 10 months I finally said…fuck this, i quit. I don’t deserve this, I deserve something better!

Of course, there were mediation and discussion before i said i quit. And, also a lot of tears and heartaches. It has been a learning curve for me and i am glad i was brave to say enough is enough and i was not afraid jumping into an oblivion, called unemployment.

I strongly believe that i always have  an option. My option were two, either to be in a shit hole and mop the entire time and feel pity to myself but get money, OR, embrace the freedom take control in my hands and get creative. I don’t want to be sad anymore, because my life is a JOY. My baby is so cute and healthy, and I have a supportive and handsome husband who believes in my capacity as a clever and creative woman. I am blessed! So, this spiral of negativity is really an unnecessary burden I need to get rid of.

I am now in a process of getting my shit together, and slowly I am feeling my old self again and..but I really take my time. I don’t want to force myself at all, and just go with the flow.

Let's have a cake and a cup of good coffee :)

Let’s have a cake and a perfect cup of coffee 🙂

 

Someone sent me this video, my heart got all warm from watching it. I want to dedicate this video to all of you supermoms and superwomen out there who feel miserable in your current situation, don’t know the meaning of all the shitty things that happen in your life at this moment, or that you feel you are stuck in a rut. But you are not! believe me, you always have a choice. And now those things are shitty but in the future maybe they are not at all, we just need to open our eyes wider and be positive about it.

Enjoy the video ladies xx

About Getting Back to Work

I did not imagine or who would have thought that getting back to work would be such a hard thing to do. Especially after being off from work more than 7 months. People forget about you, and new habits are created, your boss changed, and someone replaced your function.

To establish myself after such a long leave was really tough. I wonder if other working moms also feel the same. I do not browse or read forums, I just want to try my best first to really be honest and to understand my position from my own perspective. Honestly, I feel sometimes lonely because I don’t have good friends (working moms) whom I can share this topic with over a cup of coffee. I finally talked about this with some colleagues who became mothers at the same time I did and with partners of my husband’s friends. They were all so nice and super supportive. Sometimes I just need to vent, and then I would feel much much better afterwards.

Things would be probably better if I were not such a perfectionist. I want to be good in all aspects.. So when things do not go as I want it to be, I would feel really annoyed and down. People at work seem to forget about me, it is because when I left, they stayed. Their life did not change, mine did. They kept going to work, their tasks needed to be done, etc. So when I was back to work, I expected that they would scream hey you’re back! I miss you and so glad you are back now. Well, they did in a way. They were happy to see me and asked for baby pictures and such. But then my replacement seemed to already know her way around and people who I worked with are used to have her and I was there just watching. She taught me how things were done after I had left. It was really nice of her. I knew it would come like this but still, it was still pretty hard for myself to get my groove back on in my job.

Now a month later, I kinda sorted it already. I am still searching the best way though and trying to change my mindset but at least now I know now what to do. And as for my private life, I am still finding my way in juggling between being a new mom and a partner. I told my mother in-law, how I am now learning to juggle like Dutch women. Growing up, my mom chose to be a career woman and she had many helps at home, she never did things all by herself. We had nannies and helpers. While my mom was away we were at home with our nannies and my grandma cooked meals, helpers cleaned the house and did chores. So I did not have any role model. I honestly did not know what to do if I had a baby here in the Netherlands. Then little T came along, and things turn out just fine. I underestimate myself. My body seems to know what to do, and my mother instinct works out well. At this stage, I am so happy that I am healthy. That is why I work out and eat well, because my family needs me!

I really want to hear women out there, and their stories about getting back to work again. How do you do that? What are your struggles? How do you cope with it??

I have so much admiration for mothers, and this post is not about how hard it is to be a working mom. Moms are moms. I respect your personal choice whether you stay at home or not. I think it’s just petty when women argue about that topic. Mothers out there must support each other 🙂

Munafik Kamu

Suami akoh pulang kerja bawa pe-er bahasa Arab, trus tanya jawabin gw:
Suami (J): nof, tau ga hamil tuh bhs arab nya juga hamil loh. Gatau kan
Gue: enggak. Pinter kamuh
J: mumtaz tau kamu artinya apa
Gw: enggak *nenenin bayi*
J: kok gatau sih, trus kamu jg gatau dong artinya mabrouk.Dan lanjut ngoceh2… *nerusin lg kata2 bhs Arab yg gw ga mudeng*
Gw: Ih gua kaga tau ah, brisik!
J: Ah munafik kamu
😓 Apaan cobaaa?!! Dia kira gw bs baca Al-Quran brarti fasih bhs arab😏😏 hehehe. Ketipu kamuuu!!

Quick Catch Up

These weeks have been really busy for me and kinda exhausting. So many things happened at work. Time flies and it’s  just weeks away from my maternity leave. However, long story short, I managed to arrange my tasks to my replacement to-be, and my bosses have finally recruited a new person to replace me during my leave. Now during my last weeks I just have to assist the new person and hand-over all of current projects. It is a bit overwhelming I gotta admit, luckily I can stay grounded. These times around I realize I am more zen as the D Day is approaching.

My days are filled with working, buying baby stuff, nesting/cleaning, and enjoying some relaxation. I went to Turkish bath and sauna, had prenatal massages and facial. Anything that can help me to be more zen 🙂 I attended prenatal yoga class since 14 weeks pregnancy until 29 weeks pregnancy. I am going  to switch yoga to swimming since my body gets too heavy for yoga, and swimming seems more relaxing now.

Prenatal Yoga Class

Prenatal Yoga Class

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What to Expect When You Are Expecting

Berasa kayak mau nge-review filem dengan berjudul sama, tapi enggak loh sodara-sodara. Udah janji-janji mau ngeblog sering2 pas hamil tapi apa daya iman lemah dan kemauan cetek. Ga terasa bentar lagi udah semakin mendekati Brojol Day. Gue cuma mo cerita dikit tentang pengalaman hamil gue diantara pereu pereu bule di sini. Homesick banget deh selama hamil ini, cuma kualat banget gue bukan nya homesick sama rumah dan ortu gue homesick sama temen-temen cewek gue yang cewawakan dan bermulut somplak. Kangen sama spa dan pijet murah di Indonesia, kangen sama makanan – makanan kotor abang abang kaki lima dan jajanan anak SD. Kalo inget kayaknya mau guling – gulingan di rumput huhuhu!

Alesan gue kangen sama temen-temen cewek gue (temen kuliah, anak kelas Jerman) adalah kebocoran dan kejujuran mereka. Nah, selama kehamilan ini gue sok berani ikutan pertemuan emak-emak hamil di klinik bidan gue. Bidan disini namanya Verloskundigen, nah mereka tuh kayak klinik gitu, semua perempuan hamil ditanganin nya sama bidan dan bukan sama dokter kandungan atau sama Ob/gyn. Hanya perempuan yang kehamilannya bermasalah berat baru ditanganin sama Ob/gyn. Nah salah satu program baru dari klinik bidan gue yang jaraknya cuma sejengkal dari apartemen kita adalah Centering Pregnancy (CP) yang asalnya dari Amrik. Gampangnya adalah, pertemuan ibu – ibu hamil buat ngebahas masalah kehamilan dan tuker pengalaman dan di setiap pertemuan pasti di moderatorin sama 2 bidan. Diadain 1 bulan sekali dan peserta nya kurang lebih ada 10 orang. Jadi sebelum program CP ini diadakan, di klinik gue setiap ibu hamil punya jatah sebulan sekali buat control dan tanya jawab sama bu bidan, dan cuma dijatah 15 menit aja. Di CP kita punya 1,5 jam jadi puas banget deh ngoceh2 sampe jedir bibir nya. Pertemuan dimulai dengan games, dan kita semua duduk membuat lingkaran dan setelah games ada tanya jawab. Pertemuan diakhiri dengan mengukur tensi darah, berat badan, cek jantung bayi dan mengukur keadaan perut ibu.

Di CP ini rata-rata orang Belanda semua, well..orang Belanda maksud nya bule Belanda, Suriname, dan Antilles yang semuanya bahasa ibu nya adalah bahasa Belanda. Gue sebenernya males kumpul-kumpul karena gue males pergi ke pertemuan-pertemuan kayak gini dan gue kadang gak nyambung sama perempuan bule. Tapi berhubung gue pengen belajar banyak di kehamilan pertama, ya udah lah ikutan aja siapa tau kan banyak manfaat yang bs diambil.

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