About My Happy Bowl – 2 – Happy Ending!

*This is my update from the 1st part, please click here to read.

I tend to think that since I am jobless I can do whatever I want and be lazy all day wearing PJs. Partly is correct, but not entirely true though hehehe. The PJs part is true. After I drop off T at the daycare (wearing PJs) I can do the heck I want in my PJ. ALL DAY LONG!!!


A lot of articles I read, there all corroborate that becoming a mother has its down side, i.e. being isolated. I totally can relate to that. First year was gruesome…I only could talk about diapers and shite. Like what to do when a poo is white, or red or green and when I must pump. Numbing. But then, a year has passed, I want to get my groove back. I want to be able to use my brain again! I feel that I must change something in my life. I have this urge to get out of my cocoon, and do something with my life.

Since September last year I have been attending a professional massage school. I love massage, and have done some workshops in the past. I’d saved up money to be able to get a certification as a pro massage therapist and wished I could open my own practice in the Netherlands in the future. Time has always been the only main problem, but now since I am jobless I have times to do it.  It is a one year program, a part-time study so it is easy to combine with family commitments. The massage school helps me a lot. It may not be a quantum physics study..so it is not that complicated. I learn about anatomy, physiology, reanimation, meridian system and classic massage techniques in the classroom. But still, it helps me in terms of using my half dead brain. It forces me to de-frost that part of the brain that I think never exist. In fact, I just did my theory exams over the weekend. I am not sure I will pass all of them though. I am OK if I had to re-do them, no biggy. My main struggle is definitely the language (the study, thus inclusive the theories are taught in Dutch). Especially for Anatomy I have difficulties in grasping all the medical terms that are written both in Dutch and Latin. I pass my Reanimation test today, and I am glad at least I have one certificate in the pocket LOL!

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My Interview Stories

Jobs, how can we live without it? 🙂

Whenever I meet fellow Indonesians here we use to talk about our job quest. Either they are now jobless and searching for one , or, they want to quit and now want to search for a new one. I hate it when people say, you are so lucky to have a nice job at a nice company blablabla. Believe me, in my case, it was not like a job went onto my lap out of nowhere. I really did my best to get one. I wrote over 50 applications in 3 month time. And I went to many job interviews.

I came to live in the Netherlands in 2007, although I had stayed a year before to becoming Au Pair. I went back home briefly after. I have had many job interviews since then. Like, MANY! Of course I felt really uneasy and did not  feel confident because I didn’t speak Dutch, but soon I understood a little bit of Dutch it was unstoppable. My first ones were when I was a student at the VU, I needed a part-time job. Sometimes two jobs to make ends meet. I gained it through a student job agent, sometimes the jobs were really odd, like the time I had to work at a chocolate factory. Or the time I worked at the zoo behind the till machine. Sometimes I worked at a cafeteria prepping food, or at De Bijenkorf as sales assistant. Outside the jobs I got from the agency, I also worked as a babysitter occasionally and I liked it because I earned good money and it was an easy job. I pretty much accepted all offers from the job agency except waiting tables, I sucked at it. From all those odd jobs the only one that I hated was when I worked at the zoo. Had a male supervisor who was a control freak and he corrected me all the time. After I passed my exams I was finally brave enough to apply for office jobs.

That when the nightmare began… Continue reading

About Getting Back to Work

I did not imagine or who would have thought that getting back to work would be such a hard thing to do. Especially after being off from work more than 7 months. People forget about you, and new habits are created, your boss changed, and someone replaced your function.

To establish myself after such a long leave was really tough. I wonder if other working moms also feel the same. I do not browse or read forums, I just want to try my best first to really be honest and to understand my position from my own perspective. Honestly, I feel sometimes lonely because I don’t have good friends (working moms) whom I can share this topic with over a cup of coffee. I finally talked about this with some colleagues who became mothers at the same time I did and with partners of my husband’s friends. They were all so nice and super supportive. Sometimes I just need to vent, and then I would feel much much better afterwards.

Things would be probably better if I were not such a perfectionist. I want to be good in all aspects.. So when things do not go as I want it to be, I would feel really annoyed and down. People at work seem to forget about me, it is because when I left, they stayed. Their life did not change, mine did. They kept going to work, their tasks needed to be done, etc. So when I was back to work, I expected that they would scream hey you’re back! I miss you and so glad you are back now. Well, they did in a way. They were happy to see me and asked for baby pictures and such. But then my replacement seemed to already know her way around and people who I worked with are used to have her and I was there just watching. She taught me how things were done after I had left. It was really nice of her. I knew it would come like this but still, it was still pretty hard for myself to get my groove back on in my job.

Now a month later, I kinda sorted it already. I am still searching the best way though and trying to change my mindset but at least now I know now what to do. And as for my private life, I am still finding my way in juggling between being a new mom and a partner. I told my mother in-law, how I am now learning to juggle like Dutch women. Growing up, my mom chose to be a career woman and she had many helps at home, she never did things all by herself. We had nannies and helpers. While my mom was away we were at home with our nannies and my grandma cooked meals, helpers cleaned the house and did chores. So I did not have any role model. I honestly did not know what to do if I had a baby here in the Netherlands. Then little T came along, and things turn out just fine. I underestimate myself. My body seems to know what to do, and my mother instinct works out well. At this stage, I am so happy that I am healthy. That is why I work out and eat well, because my family needs me!

I really want to hear women out there, and their stories about getting back to work again. How do you do that? What are your struggles? How do you cope with it??

I have so much admiration for mothers, and this post is not about how hard it is to be a working mom. Moms are moms. I respect your personal choice whether you stay at home or not. I think it’s just petty when women argue about that topic. Mothers out there must support each other 🙂

Suki in the Graveyard

I have been writing in Bahasa Indonesia lately I think it must have been a holiday mode I preserve. It is always not easy to go back to work after a lengthy holiday. Like what I have now! I came back last week on Thursday, and found out that my office (well that sounds too fancy..my desk!) had been replaced to another room. Apparently I have a new team and a new room. A team that consists of moi and my boss only. Doing some IT Architecture and compliance and that sounds really vague and techy even for me. Architecture?! what? all of a sudden I sit by myself in a white room. There are another 4 people in the room but all of them are working remotely and super busy (mostly are directors). I feel so lonely and isolated….not good. My job is still the same, checking systems’ audit logs, busy with the Sharepoint contents, international calls and creating compliance reports and all that. Boring. But I used to be happy at work because there were other geeky and super funny colleagues around me. I am not sure about this change…I miss my geeky colleagues a lot so I keep bugging them by swinging by their room once in a while. And they make my day. A colleague who sits next to me (we call him Mr. International-because he deals with International offices) has ordered a new Calvin Klein poster of an almost naked male model with a provocative pose to cheer me up. When it arrives I will hang it on the wall hehe.  And he allows me to play my Belle and Sebastian’s music from the speaker in the afternoon. Oh well, maybe it is not so bad at all. Let see how it goes…

Wishing you all a happy week!!

xx lonely me xx

Saya Butuh Liburan Banget!

Semakin lama kayaknya aku makin males ngantor. Rasanya ih, mau bangun dari tempat tidur aja tuh susanto banget. Susaaahh maksudnya hehehe :p Males..les..les..Don’t get me wrong, I like my job. Cuman kayaknya cape banget deh ngantor. Akika butuh liburan. Titik. Puspa. Bukannya cengeng dan sok manis manja grup nih ya, cuma bayangin ajah aku ga liburan udah 2 taun loh. Maksudnya liburan yang bener-bener liburan, ga ngapa-ngapain, males-malesan dan gegoleran aja. Ga mandi, suka suka dong. Ga masak. Ga ada kewajiban. Udah dua tahun! Wih. Liburan terakhir yang kayak saya sebutkan diatas tuh pas 2011. Kita ke Portugal, dan disanalah aku dilamar ihik ihik *tersipu malu*

Dan semenjak itu pun kegiatan weekend away, liburan apalagi, belanja-belanja yang gak penting semua dihentikan demi penghematan dan tentunya nabung wat kewong. Setahun bener-bener strict banget, gajian masuk, preettt, duit langsung masuk tabungan. Cuma bisa dadah-dadah aja sama gaji. Terpaksalah yang baru aja pindahan rumah, ngisi rumahnya juga disetop karena ga ada dana. Sampe detik ini aku gak punya gorden lho di rumah. Hahahaha. Baru mulai nyicil beli perintilan yah abis nikah kemaren…Gorden sabar yah, giliran kamu bentar lagi kok 😀 Aku gak ngeluh kok..karena emang prioritas nya bukan liburan beberapa tahun ini, yah udah bersyukur aja ya prioritasnya udah terlaksanakan.

Tahun 2012 cuti semua diambil buat nikahan dan dipake buat jadi guide (baca:kacung) nya ortu pas mereka disini. Sempet ke Turki seminggu setelah bonyok balik ke Indo, buat hanimun cuma pas disana yanga ada kita berdua tepar dan si J sepanjang hanimun kena infeksi telinga aja dong! Cuma bisa di tempat tidur doang. Dan udaranya juga gak gitu asik, sering ujan! Sial banget deh. Akhir tahun 2012 sih sebenernya ada liburan pendek yakni pas Natal dan tahun baru, kita pake buat ke Jerman. Tapi yah bareng mertua jadi ya musti bangun pagi, musti ikutan kesono kemari..ga gitu nyante coy!

IMAG0605_1{dikasih crisp sm kolega krn bentuknya lope lope..baik ya?}

Oh iya balik ke soal males ngantor barusan.. Iyah, padahal bos aku tuh bos yang paling baik yang pernah aku punya di sejarah persilatan eh di dunia kerja..jadi, masalah bukan terletak pada pak bos. Intinya cuma satu kenapa aku males dan jenuh di kantor. Eh dua ding. Satu, akika butuh liburan panjang. Titik. Dua, kayaknya aku harus menghadap pak boss karena fungsi yang sekarang udah gak terlalu menantang. Emang bisa? Ya eya lah. Daripada ga produktif, jadi rencananya sebelum mudik aku kayaknya harus ngatur strategi bijimana caranya supaya kerjaan dibikin more challenging. Ikut kursus spesialisasi? Minta kerjaan baru? Nyumbang ide apa aja yang bisa dibenerin di departemen ini? Yah gitu-gitu deh. Pro aktif aja. Sukur sukur gaji baru. Hehehe <–ditoyor pake gergaji. Ya kalo gak gitu kayaknya sayang aja toh, daripada nyari kerjaan baru lagi diluar sana mana krisis begini. Aku juga males, kayaknya udah pewe banget kerja disini. Gila ya? Padahal aku ini kutu loncat loh kalo dalam soal job. Tapi semenjak kerja disini, udah deh males aja nyari-nyari yang laen. Faktor umur juga deh kayaknya…udah settle ajah. Doakan semoga sayah gak gelagapan pas menghadap pak boss ya? Hahaha. Cemen.

Adakah yang diluar sana mantan kutu loncat yang udah insaf kayak aku ini? Angkat rok nya yaaa angkat tangannya yaaaa!

Penggalan Cerita Roti

“Kerja di restoran mana mbak?” Pertanyaan ini sudah beberapa kali aku alami selama tinggal di Belanda. Emmmh, ditanya pertama kali sama mas mas di tram dan jawaban aku pertama waktu itu adalah, “Ga di restoran mana mana mas” hehehe. Namanya orang rantau di luar negeri pas ngeliat perempuan yang duduk di sebelah berparas Jawa manis nan ayu Indonesia begini langsung pede bae ya nanya. Sebenernya ga salah sih wong mas mas nya ga kenal gitu loh sama aku, dan memang muka ikke waktu itu mungkin kusut banget abis lembur ya! Jadi nyangkanya pasti si mbak abis selese masak deh 😀 Dia sok kenal sok dekat, generalisir pekerjaan rata rata orang Indo yang merantau kesini memang banyak yang kerja di restoran entah jadi koki atau jadi waitress di restoran indonesia. Tapi ga semua orang Indo di Belanda tuh cuma kerja di horeca kok. Banyak banget student Indo di sini dan kerja di berbagai macam bidang. Contohnya selama kerja di Belanda aku kenal beberapa orang seumuran aku yang kerja di satu perusahaan tempat aku kerja. Lagian gak ada yang aneh dengan pekerjaan koki atau pun waitress, sama sama menghasilkan uang halal gitu loh.. Aku sebenarnya gak mempermasalahkan pertanyaan basa basi mas di tram itu cuma yang membekas di hati adalah kenapa juga orang Indonesia dikenalnya tukang jago masak ya? Ga jauh jauh dari dapur. Kenapa juga ga di identikkan dengan ilmuwan gitu huahahaha! <–mulai ngayal. Tapi aku beneran deh gak underestimate in orang berdasarkan pekerjaan mereka.

Boleh bangga juga sih ya sebagai orang Indonesia yang bermukim di Belanda, orang sini pasti nganggep nya semua orang Indo tuh jago masak semua. Aduh, pertama kali datang ke sini aku boro boro bisa masak waktu itu masih cemen banget deh keahlian memasak nya..cuma bisa masak nasi goreng sama tumis kangkung! Parah. J malah lebih jago masak, waktu baru baru pacaran doi bikinin dinner dengan menu masakan hindi-Suriname (Roti) yang rasanya alamaakkk endang s taurina banget. Lengkap dengan pancake dan ayam curry nya…Malu ati deh.


{ Roti, hidangan dari suriname yang asalnya dari India }

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Piece of Cake

I got an e-mail today in my work inbox from our internal audit supervisor in the US that we have successfully finished the audit testing for 2012. I could not blink my eyes for a minute when I read the e-mail. What a milestone! I practically just wrapped up the biggest project for this year and everybody who was involved was very cooperative and happy to hear it..I was so thankful 🙂 I then could not wait to forward the e-mail to our VP who was still on his holiday and then to my line manager who was in Paris for a business trip. We both then emailed each other and expressed our huge reliefs and he told me when he is back from his trips he is going to join me dancing like idiots at Leidseplein square!

My job involves some compliance projects, and to assist our internal auditors who are located in the US is one of my main tasks. The news today is huge for me because then I do not need to think about any narratives, controls or anything that has something to do with audit reports for the next 6 months. I mean this is the effin’ end of all whirlwind I had for the past 2 years at work! The end of overtime, end of boiling brain and despair because I’ve had no freaking idea about technical side that involves in this job. I have been drilled on the job like without mercy for nearly two years. This is the end at least for the next 6 months..Honestly, this is the first time I have the chance and I am trusted to coordinate a project from the scratch until the end. And I can tell you it feels really good! I never stayed long at one place, I was always on the move. Maybe I was too young and I did not know what I wanted so I kept on searching for the perfect job back then. I was too idealistic. I was looking a perfect office with perfect colleagues in it. But..There is no such thing as a perfect job. A perfect job does not exist you must create it.

Life is not as easy like eating a piece of cheese cake

Life is not as easy as eating a piece of cheese cake

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