About Getting Back to Work

I did not imagine or who would have thought that getting back to work would be such a hard thing to do. Especially after being off from work more than 7 months. People forget about you, and new habits are created, your boss changed, and someone replaced your function.

To establish myself after such a long leave was really tough. I wonder if other working moms also feel the same. I do not browse or read forums, I just want to try my best first to really be honest and to understand my position from my own perspective. Honestly, I feel sometimes lonely because I don’t have good friends (working moms) whom I can share this topic with over a cup of coffee. I finally talked about this with some colleagues who became mothers at the same time I did and with partners of my husband’s friends. They were all so nice and super supportive. Sometimes I just need to vent, and then I would feel much much better afterwards.

Things would be probably better if I were not such a perfectionist. I want to be good in all aspects.. So when things do not go as I want it to be, I would feel really annoyed and down. People at work seem to forget about me, it is because when I left, they stayed. Their life did not change, mine did. They kept going to work, their tasks needed to be done, etc. So when I was back to work, I expected that they would scream hey you’re back! I miss you and so glad you are back now. Well, they did in a way. They were happy to see me and asked for baby pictures and such. But then my replacement seemed to already know her way around and people who I worked with are used to have her and I was there just watching. She taught me how things were done after I had left. It was really nice of her. I knew it would come like this but still, it was still pretty hard for myself to get my groove back on in my job.

Now a month later, I kinda sorted it already. I am still searching the best way though and trying to change my mindset but at least now I know now what to do. And as for my private life, I am still finding my way in juggling between being a new mom and a partner. I told my mother in-law, how I am now learning to juggle like Dutch women. Growing up, my mom chose to be a career woman and she had many helps at home, she never did things all by herself. We had nannies and helpers. While my mom was away we were at home with our nannies and my grandma cooked meals, helpers cleaned the house and did chores. So I did not have any role model. I honestly did not know what to do if I had a baby here in the Netherlands. Then little T came along, and things turn out just fine. I underestimate myself. My body seems to know what to do, and my mother instinct works out well. At this stage, I am so happy that I am healthy. That is why I work out and eat well, because my family needs me!

I really want to hear women out there, and their stories about getting back to work again. How do you do that? What are your struggles? How do you cope with it??

I have so much admiration for mothers, and this post is not about how hard it is to be a working mom. Moms are moms. I respect your personal choice whether you stay at home or not. I think it’s just petty when women argue about that topic. Mothers out there must support each other 🙂

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10 thoughts on “About Getting Back to Work

  1. Aku baru aja melewati 40 hari dan nenekku di Surabaya udah bertanya kapan aku akan mulai bekerja lagi (I used to work at home, you know, making handicrafts things). And I was like, … Lady, chill….. *rolling eyes* Dimana-mana cuti melahirkan mah 3 bulan.

    Thank you for this post. Very inspiring, especially this sentence: “That is why I work out and eat well, because my family needs me!”

    • Tyka, sabar ya 😦 setelah menjadi ibu entah kenapa gerbang komentar itu semakin terbuka lebar. Bahkan family pun pasti ikut2an heboh komentar ini inu. Buat generasi lebih tua semua emang digampangkan, karena mereka anggap semua itu biasa karena orangtua mereka jg ngajarin nya gitu. Kalo kita generasi muda kan lebih sadar akan kemampuan diri, beda ya kan. Be gentle to yourself and your own body. Dan yg tau akan waktu kapan tubuh kita kembali sehat dan pulih ya kita sendiri. Yang penting kan nikmatin proses nya ya bo? 🙂 I am so happy for you!!! xx

  2. Starting to work again after pregnancy leave could be haunting for some (new) mother. Not only must they adjust with the care for the baby but also setting the pace and perform well at work. All this happens while the body recovers from the delivery and pregnancy.

    What I learned that a solid support system is very useful. Master the logistics of running erands and doing house chore. Do ask your spouse/partner to help. And most of all, do not feel guilty if you reserve some me time for yourself to recharge.

    All would turn out ok. Je hebt mijn nummer als je hierover verder wilt praten Oppie.

  3. We only have short amount of time for maternity leave here in States, depends on the company. I only took abt 3 months and after all the changes that happened in your personal life, I could totally related that it’s hard to get your ‘groove’ back. Inherently time management would be a challenge but more than that I learned not being too hard to myself and trying to accept things would not always go the way I want it to be. My daughter is two years old now but there’s always something new to learn. So we could only do our best and enjoy the journey 🙂

  4. off from work more than 7 months? aduh maaaaak mewah kaliii cutinaaa… super jetlag for sure sampe sebulan ke depan but aftewards everything is just gonna be fine. Support system paling penting lah, pertama pastinya suami dan keluarga, trus sesama working mom.. enjoy, you can do it

  5. Voor jou ,Novi, is het extra moeilijk om weer te gaan werken:
    -ten eerste: je komt in een totaal gereorganiseerde werkomgeving -andere mensen en andere taakverdeling. Dat was ook moeilijk geweest,wanneer je er niet tussenuit was geweest.
    -ten tweede: je vervanger blijft. Toen ik ,ook zo n zeven maanden na de geboorte van onze baby, weer terug kwam op mijn werk, ging mijn vervanger weg, nam ik mijn werk weer over. Kon het precies weer doen als vanouds. Ik had zelf voor een vervanger gezorgd, die vantevoren wist dat ze weer weg zou gaan ,wanneer ik terug kwam. Geen probleem met werkverdeling dus.
    -ten derde: het werk dat je deed, heb je zelf bedacht,ontwikkeld en geïmplementeerd. Iets om trots op te zijn en waar je waardering en erkenning voor hoort te krijgen!!!
    Was je er niet zeven maanden tussenuit geweest, dan was het ook moeilijk geweest om die eigen CREATIE, gedwongen, met n ander te moeten delen.
    Zeker wanneer daar geen begeleiding, steun, bij komt en je het zelf maar moest uitzoeken!!!

    Om het kort te zeggen: je werkgever heeft de problemen georganiseerd en je niet geholpen met het oplossen ervan. Daar ligt jouw extra probleem!

    Wat vrijwel alle nieuwe moeders ervaren, de veranderde mind-set, andere gevoeligheden,andere levensprioriteit ,en die combineren met weer aan het werk gaan ,dat is al n hele klus!
    Maatschappelijk wordt dat nog steeds niet ten volle erkend, zeker niet door alle werkgevers.

    Met andere woorden : Novi,voor jou is het moeilijker dan normaal en je doet het héél goed !

    En dan hebben we het nog niet eens over de heel bijzondere werkomstandigheden van je partner, die ook invloed hebben op jullie leven.

    Petje af voor Novi!!!🍀🌹🍀 You can do it!💪💪💪

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